Winter is coming

I'm afraid of Winter and the Darkness it brings. Though I love the feel of frost on my cheek and the beauty of my breath frozen in the air I find that I am afraid. Not of my sickness, but of it's cure. Of the Damp, Muted feeling of living life behind glass. The feeling that I am no longer me, no longer anyone, But just a thing floating by. The Hollow feeling that comes from a laugh I never feel. It's true that they take away the feeling of being trapped in darkness flailing to find a light that isn't there. And the exhaustion, that singular intense desire just to sleep and never wake up. But in turn they rob me of pure burning joy, Of the simple satisfaction of a smile. I am so afraid of living life on auto pilot again, afraid of losing my laugh and forcing expressions. But I am most afraid of losing the way my heart races when you kiss me and the way you make me feel just by looking at me. The easy natural happiness that comes from being with you. Winter is coming but I will fight it all the way.